Enough with the Hostility!!

I need to put this out there because I've had enough of this...

Twice in recent times I have been attacked by friends for an innocent mistake made by me. Completely separate incidents, and different people, and yet the same type of backlash.

I'm sick of people taking the hostile route when something bothers them. This just isn't an effective way to get things done. Anyone who works in customer service or has to deal with people should understand where I am coming from in this respect. A few kind words go a long way.

It's seriously unfortunate that in this world people feel that they have to freak out, swear, demand and be an overall jackass if they want to see something done. Why do we reward this hostile behaviour? When children throw tantrums, do we give them what they want or do we ignore them? Most parents would say "Ignore". So why does an adult get separate treatment?

People need to learn to communicate effectively. I'm not sure how many times i have bitten my tongue and not responded to something someone has said to me with a hostile tone, and instead chosen my words carefully and with purpose.

A simple "Hey - maybe you didnt' realize, but you've done something to hurt my feelings" should be enough to make the offender aware of their actions. Maybe the mistake was unintentional. In my case, I didn't set out to plan something the same day as a friend's celebration - I didnt' even know the celebration was going on. And while I may have a hard time adjusting to a friend's new name, I don't think that using that person's former name to explain something is an offence.

Talk to people the way you want to be talked to. No one enjoys getting a blasting message about anything. If being calm and reasonable doesn't work, then go for a more aggressive approach.

--
alanna foell : professional photographer : www.afphotography.cjb.net

Exactly HOW old are we?

I feel like I have to write about this.... because it's absolutely ridiculous and childish.

 

My birthday was this past weekend and I had a whole weekend of fun planned. The idea was to go to the bar on Friday night and if people couldn't make it out on the Friday night they could come to my house on Sat night.

 

However, mother nature decided that wasn't going to be the case and thus dumped somewhere around 30 cm of snow on us. The roads were crap and visibility was nil.

 

I'd made a Facebook event and had told people to be safe and not try to drive out to my place if the weather was nasty. Since no one ventured out, I decided to reschedule. I thought about my work schedule and figured the best option would be the 29th, as that is the only weekend I don't work through til May.

 

I made a new facebook event and sent out all the invites. Later, I was looking at the calender and couldn't remember when Easter was. I thought real hard and realized it was the weekend of the 21st. I didn't want to plan things for that weekend cuz a bunch of the guys I know do a big Good Friday thing. So far so good.

 

Then I realized that it was a friend's birthday. I'll call him Bob. I had invited him to my first planned party and thus invited him to the 2nd. I went and looked at the wall of my new event and there was a blasting message from him demanding that I change it because thats his birthday. "FUCKING CHANGE IT ALANNA" was what it said.

 

"Jesus Christ, Bob!"  I said, "funny thing, I just realized that that weekend was your birthday and was wondering what I should do about that. Stop being a bitch"... which apparently did not go over well. Apparently changing the date to a week later and adding to the description "and since bob is a bitch, I moved it to april :P " didn't go over well either, even though anyone that read the wall conversation would see my point.

 

My intentions were not malicious. I didn't say to myself "Well, my party got snowed out, in MARCH, so lets fuck up Bob's plans and plan the redo for then". I didn't even get INVITED to Bob's plans until after i'd apparently fucked them up. How was I supposed to know?

 

And then I get this private message on facebook:

- - - -

subject: real fucking mature

"and since *bob*  is a bitch I moved it to April". Fuck you. 

I had no idea why I got upset that you scheduled it on my birthday? *cough sarcasm cough*

Fucking sit back and think about it from my perspective for a second you greedy bitch. 

I didn't start the name calling you did FYI.

P.S. Fuck you. This is the thanks I get for wishing you a happy birthday?!? Fuck off

- - - -

Hostile much? I think so. How old are we, exactly? I mean, I've known him since we were in grade 8.... and I just turned 25.... so I don't know about the math, but I think that puts us around the same age.

 

I held my tongue, didn't reply because starting an internet fight is not at the top of my list of priorties. I'm only even mentioning this here because I need to share with the world the abuse I've endured lately due to a poor planning issue... poor planning around something I didn't know existed.

 

I have to wonder though, is he afraid no one will come if they know I'm having a party?

--
alanna foell : professional photographer : www.afphotography.cjb.net√