Speedy Gonzales

I have to learn to take the pedal off the metal... because it's getting me into trouble!!

I got my 3rd speeding ticket this year the other day... and then got pulled over again (but no ticket) about 12 hours later!! As if thats even possible!! I was lucky that second time, I just got a warning, but now I'm pretty much scared shitless!!!

For the record, the second time I was pulled over was because I drove past a cop on the side of the road and didn't change lanes. It's now a law to change lanes when an emergency vehicle is on the side of the road, and I didn't. Or wasn't able to. But I wasn't speeding.

My insurance is going to be crazy high next year, I'm not looking forward to it at ALL. I wonder if theres a way to lower it. Maybe even taking my car off the road for a bit would help, I don't know.

It's cruise control for this kid for the next while. I have GOT to learn to control it somehow!!!

Clutter Slob

I'm so bad for letting things pile up in my room. On any surface, really. Instead of throwing things out, I put them on the table/couch/bed until I have "a minute" to go through them. All it really does is create a mountain of things that block my view when I'm watching tv and most of it ends up in the garbage eventually anyway.

Last night I'd had enough of the mountain, and resolved to go through it. I started throwing out old bills/letters etc that I didn't have any use for and eventually was left with a table full of random things that don't have a home and no recollection of how they got there in the first place.

Here is the list... can you find them in the picture?

ipod case, ipod charger, post it notes, camera case, 2 wallets, roll of undeveloped film, pack of tiny playing cards, empty pill bottle, book I borrowed from a friend close to 5 years ago and haven't finished or returned, nailpolish remover, bra accessories, glass negative circa 1923, a piece of cork, name tag, manicure kit, dvds I haven't finished watching, bobby pins, gimp bracelet, necklace in soft case, scissors, jostens id, saw that I used to cut the legs on Dragon's loft, hair elastics, toe ring, picture of friends from grade 12, pad of notes I made, buttons from the last 5 pairs of pants I've bought, comb, biore nose strip, 120 film reel used for developing b+w film, wrench, headband, headphones, pen, lip gloss, the orange stick that came with the waxing kit I bought a month or 2 ago, a couple necklaces...

I'm sure theres more... and keeping in mind this was AFTER removing all the paper/reciepts, bills etc, I consider this a job well done!!!

Subtle Rejection

I'm not a mean person. Well, not in the sense that I purposely try to hurt people. I'm honest, yes, and sometimes maybe this hurts people, but I don't set out to hurt anyone's feelings.

I realized today that someone I thought was my friend, a close one at that, has removed me from both his MSN list and his Facebook (and we all know that if it's on facebook, it MUST be real).

Now, I'm still deciding why this bothers me. I think it's because I don't like to be disliked. If we had had a fight or something I would more understand the avoiding communication. But I haven't done anything at all to purposely make him cut off contact.

I'm fairly certain it's got to do with my recent happiness, my life falling back into place. But I refuse to feel bad for being happy. If he had been paying attention, none of this would have come as a surprise. I never hid how I felt about the person I'm with now. In fact, I was accused of having unresolved exboyfriend issues by the person who's cut me out. Is it my fault I've resolved them!?

I don't do rejection well. That I know. I think I'm a pretty nice person, and I have a hard time grasping why someone wouldn't like me. (I'm also modest, for all those following along).. and so this is hard for me.

Maybe he'll come around, I don't know. Or at least man-up and bring it up with me instead of playing the avoidance card. Cuz I know that avoiding things doesn't make it go away.

If you're reading this, friend, I'm sorry if I've rubbed this all in your face, that was far from my intention.

Bliss

This will sound totally mushy, that I'm aware of.. but I'm in that kinda mood right now...

I had a fantastic weekend away in Toronto. It was a weekend of reunion, romance, surprises, sillyness, all the things that make "us" Us.

You know all those things I wrote about missing a while back? They've all been returned to me, and I find myself wondering if it's all a dream. But I know that it's all just the way the world wants things to go.

It was so reassuring to know that I wasn't imagining things this last year, when I would get emails and obsess over a line here, a line there, telling myself not to over-think it, but doing precisely that. But now I know that all those things I thought were accurate. And that only reinforces in my head that it's all meant to be.

Being told that when the future was thought of it was me that was the person who was in all the thoughts, that was the sweetest thing I'd ever heard. And I was given a cd with all these songs that are representative of everything, songs like Hello I'm in Delaware, I Miss you, True Love Waits, Until Later.

I'm still so in awe... all is well in the world.

Someone's watching

Today was pretty interesting, but yet I feel like I can't even talk about it based on the nature of the subject... I guess the only thing I can say is long story short my blog got me into trouble because of my unedited, purely self-indulgent way of writing.

Something I had written about something I did (told you I feel I can't even write about it) was found by the people who weren't really even involved, and everything I said was taken the wrong way. Granted, I was probably in the wrong for having used names in previous posts, but those posts were not derogatory in any way (those posts have since been edited and names removed).

While I see both sides of the whole thing, really I think it was a bit over-the-top as anything I have written was in no way directed at the people who saw it. Anyone who reads this blog knows how I write: rambling, as thoughts pour out of my brain, and unedited. I'm not a bad person, and I wouldn't jeopardize something I really enjoy for my rambling thoughts.

So dear readers, I guess expect more vague entries unless I'm talking about some mundane object or something weird that happened because there are people out there who care more about what I write than I do.

I feel like I should have a disclaimer for my blog.... but if you read the whole paragraph under the title, that should explain it enough!!!