Enough with the Hostility!!

I need to put this out there because I've had enough of this...

Twice in recent times I have been attacked by friends for an innocent mistake made by me. Completely separate incidents, and different people, and yet the same type of backlash.

I'm sick of people taking the hostile route when something bothers them. This just isn't an effective way to get things done. Anyone who works in customer service or has to deal with people should understand where I am coming from in this respect. A few kind words go a long way.

It's seriously unfortunate that in this world people feel that they have to freak out, swear, demand and be an overall jackass if they want to see something done. Why do we reward this hostile behaviour? When children throw tantrums, do we give them what they want or do we ignore them? Most parents would say "Ignore". So why does an adult get separate treatment?

People need to learn to communicate effectively. I'm not sure how many times i have bitten my tongue and not responded to something someone has said to me with a hostile tone, and instead chosen my words carefully and with purpose.

A simple "Hey - maybe you didnt' realize, but you've done something to hurt my feelings" should be enough to make the offender aware of their actions. Maybe the mistake was unintentional. In my case, I didn't set out to plan something the same day as a friend's celebration - I didnt' even know the celebration was going on. And while I may have a hard time adjusting to a friend's new name, I don't think that using that person's former name to explain something is an offence.

Talk to people the way you want to be talked to. No one enjoys getting a blasting message about anything. If being calm and reasonable doesn't work, then go for a more aggressive approach.

--
alanna foell : professional photographer : www.afphotography.cjb.net

Exactly HOW old are we?

I feel like I have to write about this.... because it's absolutely ridiculous and childish.

 

My birthday was this past weekend and I had a whole weekend of fun planned. The idea was to go to the bar on Friday night and if people couldn't make it out on the Friday night they could come to my house on Sat night.

 

However, mother nature decided that wasn't going to be the case and thus dumped somewhere around 30 cm of snow on us. The roads were crap and visibility was nil.

 

I'd made a Facebook event and had told people to be safe and not try to drive out to my place if the weather was nasty. Since no one ventured out, I decided to reschedule. I thought about my work schedule and figured the best option would be the 29th, as that is the only weekend I don't work through til May.

 

I made a new facebook event and sent out all the invites. Later, I was looking at the calender and couldn't remember when Easter was. I thought real hard and realized it was the weekend of the 21st. I didn't want to plan things for that weekend cuz a bunch of the guys I know do a big Good Friday thing. So far so good.

 

Then I realized that it was a friend's birthday. I'll call him Bob. I had invited him to my first planned party and thus invited him to the 2nd. I went and looked at the wall of my new event and there was a blasting message from him demanding that I change it because thats his birthday. "FUCKING CHANGE IT ALANNA" was what it said.

 

"Jesus Christ, Bob!"  I said, "funny thing, I just realized that that weekend was your birthday and was wondering what I should do about that. Stop being a bitch"... which apparently did not go over well. Apparently changing the date to a week later and adding to the description "and since bob is a bitch, I moved it to april :P " didn't go over well either, even though anyone that read the wall conversation would see my point.

 

My intentions were not malicious. I didn't say to myself "Well, my party got snowed out, in MARCH, so lets fuck up Bob's plans and plan the redo for then". I didn't even get INVITED to Bob's plans until after i'd apparently fucked them up. How was I supposed to know?

 

And then I get this private message on facebook:

- - - -

subject: real fucking mature

"and since *bob*  is a bitch I moved it to April". Fuck you. 

I had no idea why I got upset that you scheduled it on my birthday? *cough sarcasm cough*

Fucking sit back and think about it from my perspective for a second you greedy bitch. 

I didn't start the name calling you did FYI.

P.S. Fuck you. This is the thanks I get for wishing you a happy birthday?!? Fuck off

- - - -

Hostile much? I think so. How old are we, exactly? I mean, I've known him since we were in grade 8.... and I just turned 25.... so I don't know about the math, but I think that puts us around the same age.

 

I held my tongue, didn't reply because starting an internet fight is not at the top of my list of priorties. I'm only even mentioning this here because I need to share with the world the abuse I've endured lately due to a poor planning issue... poor planning around something I didn't know existed.

 

I have to wonder though, is he afraid no one will come if they know I'm having a party?

--
alanna foell : professional photographer : www.afphotography.cjb.net√

I made a decision....

I spent a slow day at work searching for reviews on the phone situation....
I decided after much deliberation that the Sony one from Rogers was the way to go. If I have problems I can take it back to them, and I got my phone right away.
The thing confuses the hell out of me, I'm still trying to figure out all the ins and outs of it, but it's very amusing.
Same phone number and luckily I was able to use my old sim card and thus have all my numbers without issue.
The girl at the store assured me that I could bring it back in 30 days or 30 min usage if I found I didn't like it.... so we'll see how it goes. It really all comes down to the text messaging abilities..... if it's not easy to text with, I'm just not interested. I'm that big of a nerd.

Sad Face

Anyone who knows me knows that my cell phone is attached to my hand. I am never without it and it is my main means of communication.

Now, imagine me when I realized that I had no idea where my phone was. It was panic. It was despair. It was like having a limb removed.

I realized on Sat morning that my phone was not in my purse like it should be. I went and searched my coat pocket, but it was not there. I searched my car. Not there. Searched the snow surrounding my car. Not there. Went to the gas station where I stopped before coming home. Not there.

I tried to call it. Battery was dead. I gave up. Well, thats not totally true. I searched the snowbank a few times. I searched my car a few more times. I searched the chair that my coat had been on. I stuck my hand into the cushions. Gross.

I started to look for phones on ebay. I figured I could just get another sim card and life would be fine. I mean, I was looking for a new phone anyway. I just didn't think I'd HAVE to get a new phone. There is a really cute pink (yeah, I know... but I really think it's cute!!) Nokia phone, the 6111, that I have been eyeing for a while. But it's like, $100 before shipping. And I don't know if I should buy stuff from Hong Kong. Is that okay? I don't know.

I looked at Rogers. I love the Nokia phones, they have proved quite awesome the last couple I have had. But they didn't have anything by Nokia I overly loved, so I looked at a Sony one. It seriously does everything imaginable. It counts my steps! And it plays music. And lights up to different people. I could put music on it and only have to take one thing with me biking. And it's pink.

I don't know why I'm so interested in a pink phone. It sounds amusing to me.

I searched the gas station again this afternoon, still nothing. I bought the salt we needed for our driveway, came home and my dad went out to sprinkle it around. When we got to the bottom of the driveway, he bent over and picked something up. Asked me "are you still looking for your phone?" and held up something.

It was my phone, in about 3 pieces and smashed to smithereens. *insert sad face here*

I mean, I'm happy I know where it is. I was pretty sure it was smashed somewhere. But I mean, now I really do have to find another phone and thats just a pain. The really nice thing is though, that I should be able to use the same sim card from the phone I had, and I had backed up all my phone numbers onto it not too long ago. Whoo!!!

Now starts the question.... do I buy the phone off ebay for about $130 and not have to worry about the Rogers connection fee and all that, or do I go to Rogers and get the phone there for $130 (thats phone and connection fee) and put my $50 gift card that I have toward the cost??

How Yesterday Kicked My Ass, or "Alanna is out of shape and not impressed with her brother"

I fully intended to write about yesterday... well, yesterday. But then for some reason I didn't. I don't know why. But since I'm sitting here without much to do right now, I will do that.

The day started like every other, with the exception of the fact that I was actually out the door in a reasonable amount of time. I didn't have to be at work til 11, and there was a weight class happening at the gym that I figured I would take part in since I haven't got a clue how to do weights and thought joining in with other people would be a great way to start off.

I got to the gym with enough time to change and get to the room that the classes are in. I had no idea what to expect, or what to do, or anything like that. I kinda asked one of the ladies and she told me what to grab etc. So I set myself up close to the instructor and decided to give it all a go. The class filled up with a bunch of ladies, all older than me. We started by warming up (which consisted of a bunch of rhythmic flailing about similar to what you would see on an 80s aeorbics video - and I'm not rhythmic, so I looked more just like a seizure victim) and then grabbed our barbells and proceeded to do an unorthodox amount of squats.

The squats, which I thought very well might kill me led into lunges, shoulder presses, bench presses, vertical rows, lower ab workouts and a bunch of other high intensity painful exercises. I think I forgot to mention that this class was labeled "intermediate" which should have indicated to me that I was way out of my league. At one point I actually had to set my barbell down and leave the room and get a drink of water and sit for a second because I was fairly certain that I was going to pass out. There were women, at least 2x my age, barely looking like they'd broken a sweat and here I was on the verge of collapse. Yes, I AM out of shape. That much has been decided.

After the workout of death, as it is now called, I quickly showered and dressed, and realizing i had 45 til I had to work, left thinking I would have plenty of time to go get my eyebrows threaded because right now I think they are in worse shape than when I was 12. No, seriously.

I got to my car and threw my stuff in. Jammed the key in the ignition and ... nothing. Well, a horrible grinding sound, but really nothing else. My battery was about 90% dead (I'm making this number up... i really have no idea what degree of dead-ness it had achieved). I can only assume that this was because my lights were left on. Normally they turn off on their own, but lately they have been stupid and staying on. I think it has something to do with the cold.

Anyway....

Usually a dead battery is nothing for me to be concerned with, as I am a fully competant almost-25-year-old who knows how to boost a car, change a tire etc. Except that on Sat my brother had borrowed my booster cables and, despite me saying "Sure, but make sure they are put back" they were not put back. So I decided to take the next course of action and call Canadian Tire Auto Club (which my mom so nicely pays for me to have... or I get for free because she has it, I'm not totally sure) and ask them to come boost me.

Now I guess I should fully explain a few things before I continue. The gym I go to is about a block, and not even a city block away from the nearest Crappy Tire. However, when you call them, they outsource the tows etc to local businesses and then compensate them for their services. So when I called, the woman told me it would be 45 min to an hour. Fine... I wouldn't be able to get my eyebrows done. And I might be late for work. But fine. I'll wait. So I sat in my car, I cleaned out my glovebox, my door pockets, my garbage. Everything. I text messaged people (including my brother, lots of expletives were used). I stared out the window. Eventually I called the auto club back to find out when exactly someone was coming. The woman was really nice, but she informed me that it would be another 30 to 60 minutes.

I thought about it and I was getting cold, and I really had to get to work. So I decided "Eff this, I'm going to walk to work. It's really not that far". Which, really, it isn't. So I called the auto club people, told them to cancel the boost, set out, and after about 15 feet realized the error of my ways. See, yesterday I decided to wear my Doc Marten boots, which if you have ever had doc's you will know are completely and utterly useless in the snow/ice. By the time I cross the street, I'd slipped almost 5 times. And then I realized the next thing. The sidewalks were not cleared.

There was nothing more than just a narrow path a lot of the way. And so slipped and slided all the way to work, taking 40 min to accomplish a walk that would normally take maybe 20.

I arrived at work, roasting because it wasn't even all that cold out, and exhausted from the 2 very different type workouts. The day continued fairly uneventfully, and after work and after warm tea at the tea shop, Sartaj and I went back to boost my car.

The whole process took longer than I expected, as apparently high-end vehicles bury their batteries under strange plastic hoods and make it extremely difficult to clamp the cables onto... but we got my car going, and I went home to recount this whole story to my mother.

Now, as anyone who knows my stories will know, there isn't really a punchline to this story.... most of the stories I tell are about the journey, not the destination... and really yesterday was exactly that. A lot of build up to a non exciting finish. The car started, I made it home. And I woke up this morning feeling muscles I swear did not exist prior to yesterday. My brother will be getting an earful from me when I see him next, and I may have to invest in a new battery if I keep killing the one I have.

Thankfully though, the "check engine" light thats always on is currently off. Thats reassuring. It took me about 15 min this morning, however, to realize why I couldn't get my radio station to come in. All my presets were erased. :(