Making a mess...

I'm digging myself a hole... and I've got to get myself out before I bury myself.

If I go any further, I'm going to risk making a mess of a couple good friendships. And going further would not be true to my heart and just me not saying the appropriate words at the appropriate time.

I need a (clean) break.

But a break never happens!! I just bump along from one to the next, never finishing off one before moving along, stringing bits and pieces behind me.

I was talking today and realized that I'm a heart breaker. I fall out quickly and don't give others a chance to catch up and I move on regardless of what I've left behind.

And fuck if I didn't remember that I actually did care about one piece... and it was picked up and swept away. And I want it back....

And that clean break isn't happening because I'm still searching for that piece... and collecting other pieces in the mean time to fill the void.

And I'm a nut job because it's almost 4am and I'm vaguely writing gibberish thinking that if those involved read this they might know it's them... but if not, at least names were not used.

It's time for bed.