Life is good.
Can't say that, a month after breaking up with the only person I ever considered spending my whole life with, I ever would have expected to be so content. But I am, even though it seems sometimes that people are trying to make my life difficult.
I've got some good things happening right now. And while some of them are not all together a secret, I'm just keeping a bit quieter than usual in one respect.
- Work -
I've got an endless expanse of opportunity ahead of me. I've been tossing around the idea of finding work on a cruise ship (I always inadvertently type "shit" when I write that!) for a few months next year. It was something I wanted to do a few years back but kinda forgot about. I know a girl that's been doing it for a few years and loves it, so I'm hoping to get a few pointers there. And what a great opportunity to work and travel!?
Other than that, my great plan of being able to go back to Australia on a different passport might be failing. I did a bit of research into it recently and I have a feeling it's not as easy as I would have hoped. However, I am still going to get my Irish passport so that I can work in Europe later.
I think I've decided to stay here in London until at least Christmas this year. I don't know exactly what I'll do after that, but that's kinda what I'm thinking right now. Obviously not going to just ditch my job... will likely aim to have a replacement before I take off anywhere. I'm sure the boss will appreciate it.
- Living -
I found a roommate!! I'm super excited about this too. I answered an ad on kijiji and we both hit it off right away. The girl that's moving in is about 21, has a dog, is into photography and is pretty much the same as I am when it comes to music/movies/etc. So I think things will go really well! She's moving in June 1st. The other great thing? She's not a student and thus isn't taking off anywhere any time soon - which means I wont' have to search for someone to live with me afterwards!
- Adventure -
My next big trip is out to Vancouver for Canada day weekend. However, not certain how that's going to go. Originally we (Trishelle and I) were planning on staying with S and wD, but with my breaking up with DJ things have gotten awkward there, apparently. Not on my end, mind you, more so on wD's. So now the question remains: Where do we stay if we are to go out to Vancouver? Hostel? Hotel? Or do we go to Vancouver at all? I was looking into changing my flights and where we could go for the same price - and if we're having to spend money on a hotel anyway, why not go somewhere exciting? So I've been considering Nassau, Bahamas a little bit.
Who knows though, maybe things will be okay a month from now.
Other than that, I'm heading up to Ottawa this weekend and taking Ren with me. Trishelle was supposed to come for the weekend but bailed on me for who knows why now... at least I still have Ren. The weather should be beautiful... I'm so looking forward to the time off work.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Self Inflicted, but for the best
Argh! I spent like, an hour yesterday composing a really long entry and then silly me closed the window without saving. That's what I get for composing outside of the usual Blogger window that's smart enough to auto save for me as I ramble.
I realize that my last post kinda left everyone hanging (everyone being the like, 3 people I know actively read this blog) and I think it's time that I explain why exactly I need(ed) a contingency plan.
Wed night, right before I posted my last post, Dave and I broke up. After 2.5 years of being back together (and 6 years pretty much to the date since we started dating) we realized that we're not good at being in a relationship together, at least not in some of the more important ways.
It happened like this. I arrived home to find Dave sitting at my kitchen table waiting for me. The first words out of his mouth were "We have to talk". We've never had a "sit down, lets talk" experience in all of our years together so I was a bit nervous to say the least. He confronted me about something that had happened in Vegas (and chose not to stay there, apparently.) and I told him his going to Japan has had my brain all effed up. He said he couldn't stay here anymore and that we'd talk soon, took his things and left.
I spent the remainder of the night on the phone with anyone and everyone. As I've come to realize, when I have a problem - with my relationship, my work, whatever - I discuss with those close to me... but not those involved. So while I've discussed any problems Dave and I might have been having with my friends until I've felt comfortable with the issue, it never is fully resolved with Dave.
So we met on Monday to sit down and talk. It was nerve wracking! Our first "real" talk since getting back together. The last time we'd had one of these talks was on his birthday, after I got home from Australia and before he left for China. And after that I was left wondering why we'd broken up in the first place.
We laid it all out, well, mostly.
I told him that in his decision to go to Japan he never considered me. All my friends had said that it wasn't fair of him to just decide to go without consulting me, as we were a "unit". I had told them all they were wrong, that if I had the opportunity I would also take it, blah blah blah. However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized they were right. And so we talked about this. He had thought that there wasn't much point in talking about it until it was final, to which I replied "which would have been way too late!" I never would have told him not to go, but I would have liked a bit of consideration on his part in regards to my feelings.
We also talked about our inability to communicate with each other when it comes to issues. We're both "path of least resistance" type people and won't confront someone when something bothers us. This is fine if you're a country like, say, Switzerland, but in a relationship that eventually leads to other problems.
We discussed how we've fallen into a rut. We live together, see each other every day etc but we've turned into roommates instead of partners. More and more we've become comfortable doing things separately - hanging out with friends, doing groceries, etc. Sure we hang out at home but that intimacy of a relationship has been lost.
We had a good talk. But it came back down to one thing - we have a lot of problems that we would have to solve before his going to Japan. And, with his going away, IS there a point in trying to fix them now? Both of us agreed that no, there isn't really. I still love him, I do. I think he is one of the nicest people I know and we get along marvelously. We're just too similar in our inability to discuss problems and deal with them.
So we called it quits. We've been taking a break from seeing each other, only communicating when absolutely necessary. It seems to be for the best, since seeing each other often we would likely fall back into the same patterns and repeat the same mistakes.
I realize that my last post kinda left everyone hanging (everyone being the like, 3 people I know actively read this blog) and I think it's time that I explain why exactly I need(ed) a contingency plan.
Wed night, right before I posted my last post, Dave and I broke up. After 2.5 years of being back together (and 6 years pretty much to the date since we started dating) we realized that we're not good at being in a relationship together, at least not in some of the more important ways.
It happened like this. I arrived home to find Dave sitting at my kitchen table waiting for me. The first words out of his mouth were "We have to talk". We've never had a "sit down, lets talk" experience in all of our years together so I was a bit nervous to say the least. He confronted me about something that had happened in Vegas (and chose not to stay there, apparently.) and I told him his going to Japan has had my brain all effed up. He said he couldn't stay here anymore and that we'd talk soon, took his things and left.
I spent the remainder of the night on the phone with anyone and everyone. As I've come to realize, when I have a problem - with my relationship, my work, whatever - I discuss with those close to me... but not those involved. So while I've discussed any problems Dave and I might have been having with my friends until I've felt comfortable with the issue, it never is fully resolved with Dave.
So we met on Monday to sit down and talk. It was nerve wracking! Our first "real" talk since getting back together. The last time we'd had one of these talks was on his birthday, after I got home from Australia and before he left for China. And after that I was left wondering why we'd broken up in the first place.
We laid it all out, well, mostly.
I told him that in his decision to go to Japan he never considered me. All my friends had said that it wasn't fair of him to just decide to go without consulting me, as we were a "unit". I had told them all they were wrong, that if I had the opportunity I would also take it, blah blah blah. However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized they were right. And so we talked about this. He had thought that there wasn't much point in talking about it until it was final, to which I replied "which would have been way too late!" I never would have told him not to go, but I would have liked a bit of consideration on his part in regards to my feelings.
We also talked about our inability to communicate with each other when it comes to issues. We're both "path of least resistance" type people and won't confront someone when something bothers us. This is fine if you're a country like, say, Switzerland, but in a relationship that eventually leads to other problems.
We discussed how we've fallen into a rut. We live together, see each other every day etc but we've turned into roommates instead of partners. More and more we've become comfortable doing things separately - hanging out with friends, doing groceries, etc. Sure we hang out at home but that intimacy of a relationship has been lost.
We had a good talk. But it came back down to one thing - we have a lot of problems that we would have to solve before his going to Japan. And, with his going away, IS there a point in trying to fix them now? Both of us agreed that no, there isn't really. I still love him, I do. I think he is one of the nicest people I know and we get along marvelously. We're just too similar in our inability to discuss problems and deal with them.
So we called it quits. We've been taking a break from seeing each other, only communicating when absolutely necessary. It seems to be for the best, since seeing each other often we would likely fall back into the same patterns and repeat the same mistakes.
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